Words cannot express my feelings when I saw the gift you left for me this morning. No one has ever given me 500 cubic feet of snow before, especially in such a bold manner, leaving it directly on my driveway entrance! It was a bold move, and I am impressed.
To express my appreciation of your gift, I'm going to get you something, too - a year's subscription to a monthly gift from dogdoo.com. Though it lacks the sheer massiveness of what you gave me, I hope you will appreciate the depth of my gratitude, and look on your gift every month with the same feelings that I had when I saw yours. I understand that their products are most fragrant in the late summer, and will be getting you the extra-large size when August rolls around. <3
You need not wait, though, as I've already sent you your first such present, which I took the trouble to make myself. It measures only a paltry 3 cubic feet, less than 1% of what you have given me - but I think you'll understand my true feelings when it arrives at your office in a day or two. The rectangular shape is due to my having made it when I saw my driveway this morning, so do not worry yourself that something may be amiss!